Where We're Going, We Won't Need Roads

The following is an open letter to the scientific community of the world:

Dear Scientists and Scientesses,

Why are you all a bunch of squares? For centuries you've been hiding behind your beakers and graduated cylinders pretending like you are above bigotry. Yet you continuously put down and degrade a sect of your very own. Of course I am talking about those you so thoughtlessly refer to as, 'Mad' Scientists. For years those labeled as mad have suffered from countless setbacks and put downs simply because they choose to dive deeper into the realm of science.

While you, presumably non-mad scientists, receive plenty of government funding to research things such as "Cancer" and "Obesity", Mad Scientists receive no such funding. The main problem with mad science is the overhead. Plutonium, adamantium, star saffires, and most other materials that are necessary for mad science are extremely rare and therefore expensive. This has caused many scientists to turn to crime, or even to hire thugs to steal these materials for them.

Many point fingers at those in the mad science community as diabolical and unstable
, while this is wholly not true. While mad scientists Doctor Doom, The Nutty Professor, and Wayne Szalinski cast a dark shadow on the community, many more work tirelessly to produce items we take for granted. Without mad science the world would not have things such as dildos, the internet, or canned air (seriously, how to the get that shit in there?). This very day, the few mad scientist that still remain are working on life changing invention like the shrink ray, the ultimate nullifier, invisibility lotions for ugly lovers, and the internet 2.

So next time you look down on those in the mad science community, stop and think for a moment. Because in the end, aren't we just a little 'mad'?

-Professor Bryan 'Hacksaw' Roy