Lesbians vs Bryan Roy: Take 1

This will be the first of many entries I write about women who like other women (as more then just friends). Why you ask? Well, like most men out there I am fascinated by a woman who will deny me not because of my hideous looks or lukewarm personality, but because she just plain out doesn't like penis. So this idea I've been kicking around for a while, and I'll admit some times I may sound like a bit of an asshole but a) this is science and b) I am an asshole. So if your offended by me talking about lesbians, then whatever.

So as I sat in class today I was thinking about boobs. Really a nice set of hooters is a good thing to think about, much like a walk-off home run or a real lightsaber (time out, my hands feel dirty, nothing to do with this blog or the internet, they just feel dirty and need to be washed. alright sorry about that OCD interlude). So boobs right? Nice. Well what do lesbians think about boobs? Are they like guys? Do they really like boobs? Or is their love of women strictly... emotional? For some reason I have a hard time seeing a group of lesbians talking about how nice a chick's rack is. I mean, this is something dudes do all the time. In fact, 90% of dude's conversations are based around the mammary gland. Thats true shit, Google that shit. But dudes also like baseball, watching people kick the shit out of each other, and battles. Lesbians... not so much.

In conclusi
on, I have come up with the following equation:
if, Dudes like Boobs
and, Dikes like different things then Dudes
then, Dikes do not like boobs.

I know this goes against everything that porn has taught me, but let's face it, those aren't real lesbians anyway.



figure 1a: A Bull Dike in her natural habitat