Picked

It's been a while since I've dropped some blog knowledge on ya'll. I wonder how many times I've said something like that in this blog, most likely quite a bit. Sort of a fall back intro. Anyhoo.... I had a solid X-Mass and I hope all of my faithful readers did as well. Got some good loot, saw the family, etc., etc.

Watching mad NFL right now as I battle a cold/flu... rooting for the Jets? Weird. Pats should be in the playoffs, just look at the Cardinals, they fucking blow and so does the rest of their shit division. Celtics are on a losing streak? What? To quote Dave Roy: "I really hate the fucking Lakers" (this was an unprompted statement more then 24 hours after the Lakers had beaten the C's). The Celtics played worse then they could have and received approximately negative 15 calls. I'm pretty sure if Rondo had farted the refs would have T'd him up.

Howley and Cassandra were supposed to come with me to the Murray Family Holiday party today... but as soon as they made it into Manchester, Pat's jeep bit the dust. So him and his lady headed back to the Winch and I went back home to sleep/watch pig skin (I'm not going to drag my sick head to a party by myself... sorry Matt). They were also supposed to give me a ride to Fulkerson, but now my mom/dad is going to drive me down on the morrow. So get at me if you're in the bean, there are still some fools (aka Hyde Brothers) who I haven't chilled with in a while.

I had a rant about something... but it has been long forgotten. For some reason I thought it was about plastic bags... but that couldn't possibly be right. 

High Speed

Snowed in.

Traveled by foot up to Sweet Touch for breakfast, only to find it was closed. Trekked back to CCS and crushed an omelet. Good Times.

Pats! Oh my. Matt Cassell is a animal.

Snowed In.

What I've learned from Video Game Vol 1: Boss Battle

I was driving yesterday, well stuck in traffic really... because... well this is LA and that shit happens all the time. So anyway, I was thinking about how I'm a pretty decent driver, like better then most of the asshats out here. I pinpointed the source of this skill from my years of playing videos games (most notably Mario Kart and Grand Theft Auto). This gave me an idea for blogging, a series of what I've learned from video games. So, like the title of this entry states, here is volume 1: Boss Battles.

Like every good video game, life is full of boss battles. You can't save the princess without sending a few Bowzers into the lava if you know what I mean. Over my 21 years I've slayed my fair share of bosses (Andross, Gannondorf, the Death Star, etc. etc.). In the real world I've also faced my fair share of boss battles. School has boss battles, we call them exams, finals, etc. There are also those random boss battles that come out of nowhere, but you can always count on them. At my internship with only a few days left they gave me this monstrous task. I had to call everyone in my bosses blackberry and get their email adress if he didn't have it. This ended up being like 100+ people, probably more. I did get to call some famous people (and/or their assistant) like Neil Gaiman and Robert Kirkman (wiki them and you'll undestand my ampedness). Boss Battle if I ever saw one.

So think about boss battles. Not only will you find out I'm right, you'll be ready. And trust me, once you get to level 7 you'll thank me.

On an unrelated note: Bruins are good, Celtics are really good, Pats will make the playoffs, and I'll be back on the East Coast in approx 30 hours. 

Also, here's a picture of House. I hate that fucking show.

Aftershock-ing

Last night I was sitting here on the couch, baked, when suddenly everything started to quiver. At first I thought I was having a stroke or something, something was certainly wrong. Everything shook just a little, like when you're on a stationary fishing boat and a little wave comes by.Then it was over.

I survived my first earthquake, a womping 5.1 that originated 120 miles away in the desert. Word.

Here's the thing about getting tanked while in LA. There are a few things that differ from the East Coast:

A) A designated driver exist. This is because no public  transportation exist, and taxis are not cheap. Also everyone in LA owns a car, so someone HAS to drive.

B) More hot chicks = more douche bags. It's true. Simple equation really. More dudes overall, but also higher douche quotient. 

C) You know you're at a dope spot when Dave Navarro shows up. Someone they let us into this tight club. Cary Clark and the Roy. WTF? Anyway, Dave Navarro showed up. He falls into the douche category.

D) It doesn't get cold here. Ever

.

Talk More

Bling, boom. 

Thanksgiving was good. Met some chill folks and ate some fresh bird with all the fixins. Good times all around. Had a philosophical talk about Toy Story. Watched the worst team in Football get beaten like children.... Lions = most depressing football team (ranked very high on the scale of unintentional humor). 

Was bored today. Drove around. Drove past the drain used for the motorbike/truck chase scene from T2. Also drove by the office used for The Office. It actually has a Dunder Mifflin/Vance Refrigeration sign.

Heres a new idea for an episode of TV's MADE. I want to be made into an elementary school student. Good joke potential with this MADE program on the MTV. Take note. Also been watching a lot of Lockup these days.

I think I saw Kevin Federline

So I haven't blogged in a bit. Figured I should splat down some info as I sip on a little G&T. First off, I'm watching Generation Kill right now on HBO. If you haven't checked it out, I would say to do just that. Makes me think of my boy Tully. Good shit so far through episode 1.

Anyway....

This last weekend was Gemma's aka my roommate Joe's girlfriend birthday. So we went to her beach house for a little shindig. Shot fireworks off on the beach. Cursed at the Pacific Ocean. Drank adult beverages, and touched a prime time Emmy Award.... for costume design... but still. Also ate at this DOPE ass burger joint on the beach. Emphasis on the dope.

Wow! I just heard some thunder! Weather happens!

Turkey Day is coming up. I'll be spending the day at Cary Clark's crib. I'm in charge of bringing a pumpkin pie (according to Csquared, "not one of those broke ass Albertson's pies, like a good pie, a Whole Foods pie, the good shit"). Well I'm gonna one up him. I've already scoped out a local bakery and am picking up a pie from them tomorrow. I'm also bringing a bottle of wine that I bought today at Target (chill, it's an okay wine... regardless of where I purchased it).

Look for me on the East Coast soon. Fuck the corporate world.

Taking the Red Pill

Hyde, you can ask Murray about what happened. I'm just too lazy to interpret it into the blogosphere and add my usual humorous spin on it. But, since I'm not a complete butt, here is a brief rundown: Griffith Park Observatory, Hollywood Blvd, couple of bahs, chillin and illin by the pool/hot tub, Venice Beach.

Today I entered the matrix. Here is a picture of me in my matrix armor. I was also the pink dude on the screen in the background. Check out Sid the Science Kid on PBS, maybe some of you jerk-offs will learn something.

Got out of work a bit early so I get to watch more of the C's game. Legit. Tough loss for the Pats last night, hopefully the Truth and Co. will right the New England ship. I like watching sporting events that take place in or around Boston because they show shots of the city. Makes me happy to see the motherland. 

Here is a belated Halloween pic. Check that stash!

87 Dog Couples

Pretty nutty last couple days. Matt Murray made a cameo appearance this past weekend. Got in some solid adventure. Random recap: Rosco's Chicken and Waffles at 2a.m., it was nuts, mad good chicken, they had bouncers.... ill spot, other stuff happened.

Missing out on ill Celtics basketball. Went to a bah to watch the Pats game tonight. Many disciplined Pats fans, two obliterated Jets fans. Tough loss, but a good game. RANDY! Cassel, 68 rush 400 pass 3TD, first player in NFL history to drop those stats. Dang

Give Matt Murray some love. He broke his leg.

Almost forgot! I was standing behind E from Entourage today at Starbucks. Word. And tomorrow I get to don a motion capture suit at work!

Here's how my Tuesday started. I wake up, eat breakfast, and take a shower. One more step until I go to the office... make lunch. So I got a new turkey package in my hand, and the seam won't open. Simple solution, use a knife to open this shit. A sandwich must be made! Oh snap the knife I used betrayed me and sliced my finger open! Worst cut I've suffered life time. I know I'm not a bitch or anything, but I alerted the sleeping Joe Harris that I may or may not need a ride to the local medicine man (i.e. emergency room). Ten minutes later, I get the bleeding to stop and I'm on my way to work with a napkin tunicate. Buy some band aides on the way to work, show up late... lame... 

Mad broken ATMs everywhere in Hollywood so I can't buy lu

nch. Don't want to use debit card, and need cash. Opt for coffee lunch. Free Starbucks FTW! Typical LA grind on the way home, and I have to piss mad bad once I get in the grind... lame. So granted, bad start.

Obama wins. Celts win. I win. Here we go. Hopefully our new president doesn't turn out to be an alien or some shit. Yes we can!

Also of note. The security guard at Henson who I talk hoops with is a Rockets fan (discovered after wearing my Pierce jersey and he gave me a positive response rather then the typical LA garbage v. The Truth). I may have just lost my only hoops connect in LA... worth it.

Bucket List

Time to start the Bucket List:

1) Write a screenplay that gets made into a major motion picture.

2) Live in a foreign country for an extended period of time.

Work in progress. Like Asteroid Man.

Band on the Run

You ever go to turn on the radio hoping that you'll hear a Beatles song? But like, a good Beatles song? And then you turn on the radio, and there's actually a good Beatles song on? It's kind of like that.

Halloween today. HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!11!!. Dressed up as a old school hoops player. Went to work, where there was mad 'stumes. Not much work was actually accomplished. It commenced early.

Found out my rental car has sirius satalite radio. Only took me two months.... Pretty money being able to listen to most types of music. 5 TECHNO STATIONS!

A Hiaku:

Tonight, All Hollows Eve

You're Joker costume sucks dude

Eat Candy drink beer

The Truth

Wow. Tight ass win from the Celtics tonight. I nearly jizzed on the juke where Paul broke off The King at the knees. Also, Tony Allen, Neon Leon, and House all looked pretty money. 18 looks good, but it's a long season and it sure as hell won't be easy. I look forward to getting back to Fulkerson and crushing Cs games in the dungeon. 

I've been pretty busy lately. Just finished a serious homework sesh. Finished a big load of shit that is due tomorrow that I had been putting off since September. More work looms on the horizon. Started writing a short story about a Boston sports writer who comes to LA to cover a Celtics roadtrip. Gets his world all shook. 

Henson remains to be tight. I saw the Jonas Brothers today at the studio. Apparently they have an office on the lot. Good for them. Last Friday I had to save off the internet, print, and bind about 2000 pages on manga, and that is probably an underestimation

. I learned many things about mangas that day, many things I never wanted to learn. Here are a few: A girl will get her tit grabbed no matter what the subject matter of the book is, likewise a guy will get hit in the junk at some point, titles have little to do with subject matter (I printed out one called Ultra Maniac that was, as far as I could gather, about high school girls...), most of them suck ass (at least from the few pages that I read). One stood out as pretty kick ass though. If you're looking for some tasty artwork that is unlike anything I'v really seen before, check out the manga No. 5. I couldn't tell you too much about the story but it looks beautiful (you would be amazed at how many scans of manga are online, just do a search on google and check it out, I'll break you off a sample)[well I was but blogger is being lame on me, just check out mangafox, you can find it there, you're just going to have to believe]

I was going to rip off Hyde and start a bucket list, but this blog came out rather solid without it. So I'll save that for next time.

The Real Deal is BACK

Haven't had a legit brain dump in a while. Speaking of dumps... you ever drop a deuce that is so substantial that afterwords you feel weakened? Like perhaps you shouldn't have released that much material from your body at once? Its shitty! AHAHAHA!

Anyway, my physical controls are all befuddled. This is due to the fact that it is statistically fall (hence world series, Halloween, football, etc.) yet the weather is summer (it was in the 90's every day this week). I suppose that's what you get for living in the desert.

Traffic here is crappy, just like you read about. It isn't always crappy though. It's an unpredictable slopfest. I blame this on the fact that Los Angeleans don't use directionals. Also because there are no sidewalks, no public transportation, and no one carpools (except for me, Roy 1 LA 0). I kind of hate this place (Roy 1 LA -1)

I mentioned the Celtics today and got negative vibage in return. I forgot where I was.... Laker town. Fuck that shit. NBA next week. Sweet. Can't wait to get back home and have games be on at regular times.

Shot a podcast for the Henson yesterday. Weird to shoot things when puppets are involved. Learned about how the lot is mad haunted by ghosts, including that of Charlie Chaplin (used to be his studio).

I thought I had something to write, but I guess I don't. I'll see ya'll in December. There will be a regal feast followed by a jousting match, then we shall consume much mead. Hurrah!

Into the Seventh

The most important wiki in the league:

http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Muppet_Wiki

Kage

Anybody else seeing these new NBA 2K9 commercials with KG? Fucking hilarious. 

Bailout

Some quick notes from the left coast:

- Experienced a category 5 on Sunday, after a rather lackluster Saturday night (as far as I can remember)

-Saw a dude today wearing an Inglewood High Pierce jersey. Word.

- Playoff beard has commenced. Go Sox

-Halloween is approaching. Currently accepting costume ideas. I've got a few banging around in the dome piece, but its good to hear from the fans.

- I don't get Columbus Day off, but I get Yom Kippur off on Thursday.

-You can smoke weed here, but you can't drive and talk on your cellphone.

I like this place, but I look forward to coming back home. December 13th. Mark that shit on the calender as Return of the Roy.

There and Back Again: A Sox Fan's Tale

Since Hyde complained:

So I was sitting at my desk on Tuesday afternoon, on my lunch break, my morning coffee coursing through my veins. I decided to, as a joke, see how much tickets were for the Angels/Sox game. I had jokingly (see: drunkenly) agreed with a fellow New Hampshirite and Sox fan over the weekend that I would go to the game if the tickets were under 100 bucks (alright, a little much, but...). So I find out decent tickets were $60. Sixty Dollars for a playoff game? Surely you jest. I could only figure that this was because A) The Angels don't have any fans (more on this later) and B) Angel Stadium is, in fact, not Fenway Park and can seat more then 100 people. So I call up my friend James, the aforementioned New Hampshirian, break down the situation and with zero convincing he's on board.

Fast forward to Wednesday, October 1 4:00pm. James and I hit the road to Anaheim. Now the game doesn't start until 7pm, and Anaheim is 45 minutes away, but this is Southern Cali a place where traffic controls mere mortals. Two and a quarter hours later we arrive at the enemy HQ aka Angel Stadium. We are greeted by a sea of red, as I blast Dirty Water and Dropkick Murphys and find a place to park. We were decked in blue, I in my Youk shirt, James in a straight up Sox shirt. I was floored by the lack of Sox fan, apparently the nation is not as strong in the West as I had imagined. However, we suffered no insults (well not until the sox were winning). Obviously not something that would happen at Fenway where away fans might as well be Al-Qaida.

A nail biter for the first few innings. Lester looked shaky, the defense holding him up. Then Jay Bay (Manny who?) launches a two run dinger, and the faithful start to make themselves known. Let's go Red Sox chants would spring up, and battle with the halo's fans own chants. We were few, but we were mighty. As I mentioned before Angels fans are weak: 1) They didn't ridicule us (in fact I received more threats about the coming basketball season, and how Kobe was going to embarrass us), 2) They started to leave after the 7th when the game was still only 2-1 Sox. WHAT!? This is the post season people, trying to beat the traffic? 3) The mass exodus only continued as the Sox went up by two more. I know for sure, this wouldn't happen at Fenway.

As Pap was hurling 96 MPH heaters over the plate, The Nation had officially taken over the home of the Halos. Jacobi played like a champ. Youk punked Vlad after duffing a ball. All great moments. Not only was it an experience to be an away fan, it was an experience being able to see the Sox in the post season. As James and I drove back to LA, our hands raw from clapping and our throats soar from cheering, we agreed that this could quite possibly be our only chance to see the Sox in the post season. We then agreed that it was well worth it. 

Here's to a Sox/Dodgers World Series.

publish post

So I went to the Sox game last night. Full detail has been emailed to associates. Contact them is you haven't seen it. I'm pretty sure anyone who reads this should know one of said party.

I like this Michael Cera kid. He brings the Roy stock up. Keep making movies my man, more power to ya, maybe we can hang sometime. Hit me up.

Come on Down...

Someone at the weather headquarters is a South Park fan, or at least isn't a total feeg. The last two male names for storms have been Ike and Kyle, the Broflofski brothers! Damn those jews and their storms.

II

Well, it looks like I'll have to be number II...

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1360685/

Torture

Fucking Dolphins. Really these fish heads always have the Pat's number. What made it worse was having to watch it with a Dolphin fan, not just a Dolphin fan, but Jake Long's (aka the first pick of the NFL draft) girlfriend... brutal. At least I got to see the game.

Void

Hollywood = no

LA = win

College don't mean SHIT!

That's a quote from Samuel L. Jackson ladies and gentlemen. Otherwise known as the second most valuable box office actor (out of all the movies he's been in, all of them together are second only to) Harrison Ford. So if you want to make money with your movie either cast a) Harrison Ford  b) Sammy L. or c) Vinny Chase, jk. Anyway, Hollywood, I live there now, and I have been absorbed into entertainment culture. As much as I try to ignore that fact, it's true. I go to work, where I read scripts and do coverage (at Jim Henson Company, so there is the occasional puppet battle), thats 4 days a week. The other 1 day I take classes about movies. Then on the week days I come home, and since we have very fucking channel, I watch movies. MOVIES. Also, right now I have the final draft for Inglorious Bastderds (sic). Hollywood baby. Watch out for: Asteroid Man, Part Time, Pass the Buck, and other real deal shit (this shit may not hit the screen ever). INSIDER info. This is where I work:

Also, peep this: http://blogofhilarity.com/the-11-best-film-moments-of-samuel-l-jackson-yelling.ht

Throwback

So I was sitting in class today, watching a movie (because I go to Emerson), and I was thinking. If Dark Knight was shot in the golden age of cinema (50's-60's), who would play the leads? So, here goes:

The Joker: Jack Lemmon

A comedian by nature, Lemmon could easily fill the shoes of the Clown Prince of Crime. His role in Some Like it Hot show that he can take on another persona. His idle chuckling fits with the character, and his face has that constantly creeping smile. Throw on some messy makeup (again, see Some Like it Hot) and this he's a shoe-in.

Harvey Dent/Two Face: Tony Curtis

Lemmon's partner in crime in Some Like it Hot. Tony plays the straight man with the pretty face. Who better to play Gotham's White Knight? His ability to flip from goofy stooge, to serious and stiff jawed shows his potential to be, well, two faced.

Jim Gordon: Gary Cooper

Two words, one movie: High Noon. Gary is one bad ass mother fucker who won't watch his city turn to shit. Sounds like Gotham's finest cop on the force to me. Throw on a mustache, a badge, and good 'ol Gary becomes the Commish.

Rachel Dawes: Grace Kelly

The chick. The tough chick. Kelly's got the chops. Opposite Cooper in High Noon, she hangs tough until she can't anymore. The damsel in distress, who can also stick up for herself. Plus the movie needs a good looking broad.

Lucius Fox: Sindney Poitier

A strong African American actor. Back in the day, there weren't exactly too many of these guys around. Sidney could bring to life Lucius, much in the same way his predecessor Morgan Freedman did. Plus he's, you know, Black.

Alfred Pennyworth: Buster Keaton

Who else could play Bruce's aged, witty, companion and mentor better then Buster. Sure he'd be old, but his years of silent film work would suit him perfectly for the job as Wayne Manor's silent guardian. Give him a few clever jabs every once and a while, and Keaton would run away with the role.

Batman/Bruce Wayne: James Dean

The man, the myth, the legend. The one who passed before his time. Dean has both the youth and maturity to hold up the mantle of the bat. He can play both sassy playboy, as well as serious badass. I mean, Batman pretty much is a rebel (although, with a cause).

Agree? Disagree? Have now idea what I'm talking about? Discuss!

Torn

I awoke early this Sunday morning after a typical Saturday night so that I could catch the west coast airing of the Pats. They played the Jets/Fish game instead. Lame.

Brady gets injured. Lame.

Brady out for season. Now I'm tearing up a bit.

BBQ.

Got It!

Figure 9.5 - Jim Henson's newest intern.

Beat LA

After my interview yesterday, Cary Clark swung by and Joe and I joined him on a voyage to Santa Monica beach. Fucking tight, both the beach and seeing my man Cary. Water was nice, perfect temp, unlike the Atlantic. Got a little gummed up by harsh LA traffic on the way back. No biggie, just had to roll with it.

Missed the NFL game due to cable malfunction (the repair man showed up at 8am this morning... thanks). But that was probably for the better since I didn't have to see the Giants dancing around with their unwarrented trophy... those fucks.

Had another interview today at 11.30. This one was with Dark Horse (film division of the comic company). The waiting room was fucking loaded with Dark Horse books, real tight, nearly jizzed. Entered the bosses office, he had a couple copies of FEAR Agent on his desk. Good sign. Interview went alright, didn't kill it as hard as I did Henson... we'll see. Did get to drop some comic knowledge, and the guy reciprocated, which was good. Duties seemed more interny here then at Henson (copies, phones, etc.), and he seemed put off by the fact that I had to return to Boston in the winter and that I hadn't had any office experience. Seriously, I'm a senior in college, I think I can manage making copies and answering phones. Maybe I just read him wrong. We'll see, good to have more options.

Muppet

Quick update. Interview this morning with Jim Henson Productions. Such a tight place. Imagine an office where map props from sweet movies, along with mad puppets are just chillin. Cool people. Job sounds totally legit. Think I might have a good chance at getting an internship there. When asked what my favorite movies are I said Die Hard and Empire. Guy interviewing me was stoked, also his two favorites. 

On the way back I was so amped up I missed my turn and ended up driving around Hollywood for an extra 20 minutes. Passed Kat Von D's tattoo shop. 

hOLLLLLLLLYowoowowowoooood

Alaskan Family Values

First full day here in Hollywoooooood. Kicked it off right by waking up with a champagne hangover due to night one celebrations. They sell beer and champagne in the apartment complex store where I live. Not really an apartment complex, more like a village. Lots of child actors live here as well, much to Joe Harris' chagrin. He hates the kids and likes to talk shit whenever we pass one, regardless if they're an actor or not. 

Anyway, so we were hungover and needed food. Obviously In and Out Burger was the answer. Place is the fucking truth. A fast food place that only sells burgers and fries, can't go wrong. 

Los Angeles is a fucking crazy place. Where I live right now is a crazy place. I'm no more then a five minute drive from the following: Universal Studios (the actual studios too, not just the theme park thing), Warner Brothers, NBC, and Vivid Entertainment. Have yet to see any famous people.

I live at the Oakwoods apartments in Burbank. Rick James died here. His ghost haunts our apartment.

I wish I could write coherently right now, but there is too much information for me to relay onto the blogoshpere. I'll have to spin most of these tales in person, 'round the 'ol bonfire. 

It's going to suck having to come back to winter in New England. The weather here makes me angry because it doesn't get cold. Someone said I'll be wearing a winter coat by December. I said I left my winter coat in New Hampshire... you know... where it actually becomes winter.

Interview tomorrow at Jim Henson. My first foray into the world of entertainment. Yikes. Hollywood.

Hula Hula

Day 7?

Alright, yesterday (8/8/08) was one of the most ridiculous days I have had in a long time. Super Asian Day. It started off with me going on a solo mission to The World Cyber Gaming Asian Championship 2008. It took me some effort to find the place it was at, not because it was difficult to locate, but because to get to the convention center where it was at, I had to traverse through a labyrinth of (believe it or not) malls.

Upon entering exhibit hall 402/403 I realized I had come to the right place. Booth girls, low lighting, gaming rigs set up everywhere, and the smell of hundreds of Asian gamers (a fine mix of Red Bull and body odor). There were massive rows of computers that I referred to as 'The Pit'. Here there were some intense battles of Counter Strike and Warcraft III (although not the actual game, but the custom game called Defense of the Ancients. If you've heard of DotA then welcome fellow nerd). I took a seat at the main stage just in time for a FIFA quarter final match. The kid who won seemed pretty nasty, however I later found out that he dropped out of tech school to pursue gaming full time. His parents must be proud.

This was followed by the Singapore finals for virtua fighter 5. Good battle between some nasty players. Never played the game myself, but these nerds looked particularly good. Winner pocketed 600 beans, a TV, and a trip to the nationals in Germany.

I grabbed some food and returned in time to catch the finals for Age of Empires III. Hard as fuck to watch, but one guy got owned in what looked like a pretty lopsided match. All through these matches there were these douchbag announcers calling the games. They sucked. I rocked iPod instead.

By this time I had had enough of watching other people play video games so I bounced. Checked out the fountain of wealth. Put my hand in its cool, mystical waters, and headed back to the pad to crush a quick nap before THE party.

Of course the party I'm referring to is the Hula Hula party (Their words, not mine) that my Dad's apartment complex put on. The setting was the rooftop pool, where the 'big surprise' (a hot tub) was revealed. Open bar, mad good free food. This of course led to everyone getting crushed... everyone. Me, rents, housekeepers, everyone who stays at the apartment, and even the building owner Jerry. (of note, a gay dude who we were talking to told my parents to let me go out Saturday night and get someone pregnant... thanks guy. Other stuff happened that I'm too lazy to write about. I'll share tales upon my return) Long story short, I stumbled back to the room just in time to catch the US stumbling into the olympic stadium. This of course was live seeing as China is pretty close by and what not.

This morning was pretty hilarious. Entire Roy squad was experiencing some class 2s maybe class 3s. Great Success!

Pioneer

Day 2: Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.

Today I journied to China Town. Yep, it looks like there is one of these in every major city, even when you're pretty fucking close to China. That being said, this China Town (or CT if you're into that whole brevity thing) is quite a bit more impressive then the one found at the corner of Boylston and Tremont.

I explored the open markets of CT where wares for sale range from Chinese antiques to ancient Chinese remedies. Since my pops had some sort of rash, we ducked into a Chinese Pharmacist. As pops got hooked up with a magical lotion, I viewed the variety of dried goods (mushrooms, roots, eyeballs, etc.). Sadly I was unable to find any Gremlins for sale... lame.

From here we moved on to a Buddhist temple. I wasn't able to get in due to my basketball jersey (obviously they were Lakers fans), so we just peeped it from the atrium. I'll probably return on a solo mission in the coming days.

Lunch at a food court (basically the standard in Singapore) in CT. We feasted on Fried Carrot Cake (this was neither fried, nor carrot cake, go figure. Delicious though), fruit drinks (I went with sugar cane and dragon fruit), and some interesting roll type things. The food here is pretty unreal, and is definitely something not to be missed.

Bounced back to home base for a quick recharge and pool session. Following this quick interlude, we moved out towards the esplanade. Basically it is this massive theater hall on the waterfront that is known for its architecture (i.e. it looks like a giant durian). However, the Singapore T (aka the MRT) exits at the esplanade into a mall. This isn't uncommon practice as many MRT stations within the heart of the city dump you into the first or second basement of malls (which can generally run to 7-10 floors with multiple basements). Basically it took us 15 minutes to exit this underground ode to consumerism. Not bad considering being inside means air conditioning and not the Singapore heat and humidity.

Exited the esplanade, peeped the merlion statue, and headed off towards this place to get satay. Satay is this form of grilling, Macklin take note, that involves using charcoals and a fan to increase the flames. Small pieces of meat (lamb, cow, chicken) or prawns are cooked on wooden skewers over said flame after marinating for the day. Delicious stuff. However, what makes the satay experience unique is the way it's sold, again Macklin take note. Each stand basically has a guy that tries to tell you their satay. The second someone gets into their view, they immediately try to sit them down and sell them their satay. Of course they are not alone. A nearby food court also disperses their minions who are looking to sell you side dishes (rice, beans, roasted stingray, etc.), and there are a fleet of Tiger Beer girls hawking pitchers left and right. Once you sit down and have your meal, the hawkers vanish, respecting that they have either (A) won your service or (B) their opposition has got you and there is nothing they can do. It's pretty sweet and entertaining experience to watch as you munch on your satay.

Day 3

Mom and I went to the zoo, Dad went to work. I saw a lot of animal dicks today. I wasn't trying to, it just kind of happened. Most of the time they were just kind of swingin' around out there (except for that one baboon who seemed to be... interested...). Moving on from animal anatomy... This was perhaps the most amazing and beautiful zoo in the world. It was like Jurassic Park, but with monkeys and lizards instead of Dinosaurs. This place was wild (pun intended... regretfully). Truly a masterpiece of not only zookeeping but grounds keeping as well. Simply an amazing experience.

Peep the "book" for pics.

Gaijin Smash

Day 1

Today I awakened at about 9am (pm for all ya'll stateside) and was half-ready for a day of Singapore crushing. Tour guides (see parents) took me to Little India which is basically China Town... but with an India theme... and Indian people. Peeped a temple, had to rock it shoe less Dahlsim style. Yoga flame.

Of note: It is currently The Festival of Hungry Ghosts here. Basically that means people make mad sacrifices by burning things to appease angry and hungry ghosts that have come back from Hell asking for shit. So around the island there are these random burning stations where people are burning everything from incense to money to bananas.

Moving on. On top of the ghost sacrifices, there are about a million smells in this country. Incense, perfume (the ladies around here slap that shit on like British Air Stewardesses)More specifically, Little India has about a million more smells on top of that. There is the typical incense in the temples, the jasmine flowers that the women wear in their weaves, the B.O. of the gents. A bouquet of smells.

So after the temple we went to this massive mall called Mustafa's that's open for 24 hours (malls are like air, they are literally everywhere and shopping is like the national pastime or some shit. They literally love to buy things)... thing. Four floors of nonsense. I found a Labron and a Nash jersey in the chaos. So at least the rep the king and three time MVPs here. Also of note, an infinite amount of bollywood DVDs.

Peace out little India. After this we checked out this Toy museum. Incredibly word. Mad toys ranging from the most rasist (I set of toys from the 30's called 5 nigger boys) to the first issue of the Avengers (I juiced a little over that, then motioned like I was going to break the glass and steal it, the janitor wasn't amused...) to old school robots. Tons of awesome toys here, if you're ever in Singapore (bloody unlikely), and you like old, phat toys check this place, The Mint Toy museum.

We hit up a chicken and rice place after this for lunch. Chicken and rice is seemingly the most popular dish around here. Tight shit too. Pretty tasty shit.

After that we dipped back to the pad and hit up the roof pool (ballin). Jet lag was trying to claim me after the swim so I took a shower to get amped. Went out for dinner at this place called
the Pump Room. It was in this area called Clarke Quay which is basically a collection of bars and restaurants along the Singapore river. While we were sitting there crushing, four copters flew overhead. Three of them were these nasty looking fighter style copters and the fourth was a dual bladed transport vehicle of some sort toting this massive Singaporean flag, literally like a fucking huge flag. Afterwards a squad of fighter jets flew overhead. This was all in preparation for Singapore national day on the 9th. Basically it's their fourth of July, and it gives me a second chance to tell England to fuck off twice in a year!

After the Pump Room we rolled over to Beerwerks for another pint or two, a Singapore version of CBC (Cambridge Brewing Company for those not familiar, although I don't think anyone who reads this blog is). I went for the X Golden, quite the tasty brew. During said brew sesh, four pretty fine looking (if I had to guess Australian) slags saddled up next to us. The parental units and I finished our brews over some light convo and bounced. As we were walking away my mom said, "Oh man were those chicks checking you out" or some shit. I knew it. While crushing, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I could see the aforementioned slags looking towards us, but I thought there was something behind me... mom informed me there was nothing behind me but a baby or some shit. So this moment is either (A) Mom trying to build my self confidence or (B) operation football (aka soccer) hair is succeeding. Too bad the ultimate cockblock (parents) was present. Whatevvvvvvvvssssssssssssssss.

Did I mention there is a shitload of Asians here?

TETSUOOOOOO!!!!!111111

Arrived in Singapore at around 5pm Friday... here are a few notes before I passssss out:

-Plane ride from London to Singapore was pretty brutal. couldn't sleep. Got drunk, watched Semi-Pro and spilled wine on myself. There was about 13 other hours where I did nothing as well.

-Singapore is hot and humid. Perhaps because its a jungle located on the equator?

-Infinite shopping malls and food courts. Seriously, the shit is everywhere.

-If Asia adopted an American baby, it would be named Singapore.

-Battle Royale is a bad book to read on a plane if your destination is packed with Asian teenagers. Shit gives me bad vibes.

-So many people here. Most of them Asian. It's like bizarro world. In Boston I would see a few Asian people here and there, here you see one or two non-asians every once and a while.


More to come...

It's Official

I created a gmail account today while formulating my resume. Nothing funny here today folks, just getting the word out.

bryan.a.roy@gmail.com

Check it.

Meat Mansion

Long time since I've last traversed the rocky crags that make up the blogosphere. A lot of ideas have been kicking around the old bean can these days. I was going to release them in small controlled bursts, but instead I think I'm just going to flush this knowledge dump straight from the colon of my brain into the toilet we all know and love as the internet(s).

Bullet points. Some might be blank, TBA later. You ready for 'em, cuz here they come:

- White Cars. Seriously why would you ever want a white car. No offense to anyone who has a white car, but I just don't see the need (Unless, of course, there was a super hero battle that resulted in the crushing of your car and the only affordable replacement was white). Not only is white an ugly color, it's also a bad color for any upstanding citizen to have for a car. Think of your fellow brother man, when I see a white car peeking all up around a corner at night, I think it's the fuzz. Scares the crap out of me. Do your civic duty and get a green car or something... I don't know.

-People. To quote Daniel Plaineview "Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone". Again, no offense, but I don't really like people. Now I'm not saying I'm some social reject, hating the world and all of it's occupants, God no. However, I have this disposition (if that's what you want to call it), that I hate someone until proven otherwise. Sometimes I'll walk into a party and be like, I hate all of these people. If they don't make and effort to prove themselves otherwise, then they still are crappy. If I shoot the shit with someone for a few minutes, I'll have my opinion. Usually the hate subsides, but there is still a large portion of people I don't like. Some shit really irks me, really gets my goat so to say. It doesn't really matter what. If you're one of the 3 people that read this, no worries, I don't hate you or your friends. Or do I? Either way, I drink your milkshake!

-Dream Avengers Line-Up (comics, not movies). Captain America, Hercules, Dr. Strange, She-Hulk, Colleen Wing

-Dating. A while ago I found a drunken note that I had written to myself. It had a few brief sentences about shit I wanted to blog about that night but was too drunk. One of said snippets stated: Roy's dating philosophy. I can remember figuring everything out, how I was going to say shit. It was witty and informative. When I awoke the next morning, all I could remember was 'the corn will unite the kingdoms' (the jury is still out on whether or not that was a good thing). Anyway, this one ties back into the people segment, you know the one where I said I hate everyone. Same things applies to chicks I guess. I really don't like many girls. Don't fucking take that statement out of context, you know what I mean. It's just either they're not someone who could ever be on the same page as me (common) or too similar to me which isn't ass cool as you would think (uncommon). Maybe I'm just living by old standards (like chivalry old), but I'm just not looking for random hookups and shit (despite what me facebook says). There was more thought to this about a month ago when it was conceived, but time passes and it would appear the idea has been aborted. Anyway, tell your cool, cute, single lady friends. Or not, entirely up to you.

-Ideas. I've got ideas for sale. Literally, it's kind of my job. So if you know any studio heads who want to buy some ideas send em this way with your single lady friends.

-Dream JLA Line-Up. Green Lantern (Guy Gardner), Booster Gold, Blue Devil, Power Woman, Stargirl.

Alright, I'm totally spent after all of that. I hope my few courageous readers are pleased.

iLove

Rant Mode: ENGAGE!

So I was eating break-fast this morning flipping through the tube (PiR had just wrapped up), and I stumbled across VH1. Perhaps you have heard of this channel. If you haven't, it is a television station that was once a music channel. I like to think VH1 started as a Mom version of MTV, you know, what a mom would think music television was.

Well, now, like it's sperm donor MTV, VH1 has ceased its musical programming. Big deal right? I can catch music videos on the youtube(s) these days. Get myself some mp3s and mpegs, don't need no stinking music on my TV. So what fills the void? Assholes, telling me things.

Now this started out as a grand idea, I love the 80s. If there was any generation that is super easy to make fun of (besides maybe the 1900-1910 with all their fancy pants and big wheel bicycles) its the 1980's. Reagen? He-Man? Jaws 3D? Hilarious! Throw in some F-List celebrities and comedians to talk about this shit and you've got programming gold.

So, I'll admit, I'm a fan of I love the 80's. Great concept. I could even buy the spinoffs of 70's, and Best Week Ever (all the other 'I Loves' can eat a shoe). However, VH1 has officially jumped the shark with a god damn rocket bike. Today, I kid you not, I watched I love the new millennium.... the year 2007....

What the Fuck? Seriously? I need a show to tell me what happened literally not even a half a year ago? "That's it, I'm done with this shit" was a direct quote after I saw Jared (fat subway asshole who looks like he's had too many five dollar foot shlongs) talking about the Geico Cavemen. I nearly barfed up my Go Lean Crunch. Honestly, if I wanted to hear about shit that is currently happening I would TALK TO ANOTHER HUMAN. I don't need Cat Von DEEEEE telling me how much she liked 300, or some asshole from Survivor telling me who the 'Liars' from 2005 were. I can tell you who lied in 2005, ME! Because I can remember that far back unlike half of America.

Seriously people, let's take a step back from the glowing box for a moment. We can all talk about current events AND make them funny, without Ant (Z-List "comedian" from NH who seems to get gayer and gayer all the time so he can use his sexuality as a humor crutch) telling us so. VH1, consider yourself(selves?) ranted!

17

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worldwide Event

So last night during the Celtics game I decided to take some notes. This was of course until the second half, when I was pacing like a maniac through my living room, trying not to wake up my mom with swearing and throwing things. So here are some unfiltered game notes, the stuff in parenthetical was added today.:


-KP 43! I would nickname him cucumber, so coooooool.

-Ray "Harvey Dent" Allen, it's a flip of the coin as to who is going to show up. Looks like we got the DA tonight. (nerdy Batman reference, new movie makes it a little easier to understand)

-Look at my boy Bill! Canoodling with an unknown MILF and letting his son take the front row, what a guy. HAHA, 4th quarter he switches with his son, take that!

-Budlight Party Cruise? Sign me up!

-Basketball officials...... weakest, i.e. most human, part of the game.

-Scal showed up in warm-ups tonight! GO GREEN!

-Von Gundy, one day you and I will coach the Celtics together. It's like you can read my mind.

-PJ, armpit touch? Flagrant? no. Flamboyant? yes. You also got boned on a monster block that was called a foul, I still love you, I see you pouting on the bench...

-Where's my boy Powe? House needs more time. Cassel shouldn't play basketball anymore... you look like a child out there.

-Rondo, so you can play PG.... TAKE THE SHOT!

-Under 3 on the shot clock? Where's KG? TAKE THE SHOT!

That's it. Like I said had I taken notes through the fourth quarter there would have been much more profanity, and much less cohesiveness. The Celtics are the most stressful team to watch with a lead. Doc, get on that. Here's to my prediction of the series not going to 7 games...


TOMMY POINT!

Video Tour

I thought I would move in on Matt's territory by posting about a dream I had last night. I wouldn't normally do this but this is an exception. I literally awoke from the following dream and said, "Fuck, that dream was awesome!". So, without further ado, I bring you Roy's Dream.

Last night I went to bed after a long Celtics game. To be honest I shut it off with three or so minutes left in the fourth. I apparently didn't miss anything as the Celtics finished with the same score. Anyway, so in this dream I found myself riding the Celtics bench. You know, rubbing elbows with Scott Pollard and Scal. So Scal and I are sitting there watching the game, talking about the new NBA video game that's going to come out. We decided that we would probably be no named characters, or wouldn't be in the game at all. Doc overheard our convo and said I would definitely be in it (according to him I was the hot rookie sensation, this year's Rondo, apparently I get signed by the Celts in 2009), Scal would too (fan fave or some shit), Pollard... not so much (we had a laugh at this, because he sucks).

While this was happening, Perk threw down a massive dunk, sending the bench into a frenzy. Scal and I started a "Green, Green, Green," chant that overtook the entire arena or whatever place we were at. I continue to get the crowd fired up, leading to a strong C's quarter, crushing our unnamed opponents. Quarter ends, Rondo comes out, star point guard Roy goes in. Blam! Steal, three, steal, dunk. I was on fire, apparently the game of my life.

Afterwards, Perk asked me to smoke a blunt with him, and Rondo. Obviously he was impressed by my killer performance and, according to him, all the other dudes on the team were too old (there was an eerie lack of the big 3 in my dream, only a brief cameo by Pierce, who I dished a pass to before he mysteriously vanished), and he and Rondo were psyched to chill with someone their age. I never made it to Perk's party, as this is where I was awakened. Bummer.

Too Soon?

Return of the Rant

So I realized that I haven't honored this blogs namesake in a while. Maybe it's because I haven't been heated in a while, ya'know nothing has gotten under my skin...... enter game 2 of the eastern conference finals.

I think I could some this game up with one word: Garbage. Since I'm so fucking flustered right now, I'm going to just kick out (basketball joke?) some footnotes.

- Tony Allen. This is why Doc is the worst coach in the NBA. You bench Tony Allen for 95% of the playoffs, as well as the last few games of the regular season, only to play him now? I was almost expecting to see Scal out there in his fly suit taking threes. Alright, so they were up, and they need his D. Again, I'm not buying it. One of Doc's hunches I'm sure. Then he stays in as the C's go down by 9. Where's Powe? Where's House? Surely they should be getting some time before Tony Allen? Tony Allen!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Officials: Can you please stop calling the Celtics games like bizarro world Tommy's? Honestly, I consider myself a pretty big homer, but there were some calls in this game. My god... Ray Allen getting absolutely hacked in the last three or so minutes comes to mind. Meanwhile Perk can't make a play without getting a call, but that's because he's Perk and he sux. TOMMY POINT!

- Rondo. Get your head out of your ass kid. Take some shots, you don't need to pass it every time you touch the ball. Plus the blocking the face call? Christ that's something I would have done.

I know I had more to bitch about but in all honesty I need to beat one out, relieve some tension. TOMMY POINT!

Face an Interview

Back at the homestead
watching high definition
thinking about life



Starbucks finally crossed the line today. They've been keeping out of my sphere(s), but now they're really dicking with my shit. They put in a drive-thru, blocked off my sneak route. Fuck that...

Battle

Discuss:

Somebody Call a Policeman

Reggae music on my radio. Makes me want to burn the grass. Might have to.

Solid line-up of events coming in the next few days/weeks:

Tonight - Celts/Cavs game six: Can the C's win on the road? Will KG hug Rajon at midcourt again?

May 24th - Zombie walk: dress up as a zombie, join the hoard, and start munching on the brains of Boston: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=8578907265

May 30th: http://www.wickedlocal.com/cambridge/news/x1902437626/Dunster-Street-closes-for-block-party-May-31-featuring-Dr-Dog

Life is truckeling along right now.

The future lurks just beyond the present and after the past. Lets join up and dance.

Blood Thirsty

Here it comes.

Returned the books that the BPL requested. Shady guy by book drop off box. Made sure my books were dropped off.

Euro house techno beat danceradio.gr

Good C's gotta beat the Bad C's. They should take some vitamin C, see?

Venture out,
venture in,
all adventures,
just need to begin.

Absolute(s)

Bumping a little bit of itunes radio. Number 1 reggae.

Done with GTA. Guess I just wasn't cut out to be a crook. Back on the COD4 dragon, chasing it, chasing it. Always, it slips my grasp.

Don't forget your countrymen.

Applied for a job at the cinema. Summer time job as an usher. OO-SURE. Get some free movies up here, that's the plan. Behind the scenes.

Let the blog tell the story, let it be your notepad.

Dumbbbbbbbb

Just found out about this documentary called We Are Wizards. It's about how people are goin' crazy for this Harry Potter cat. Looked like a solid little documentary so I investigated.

Found out my man Brad Neely was involved because of his crazy Harry Potter movie dub called Wizard People, Dear Readers. If you don't know who he is, swing by superdeluxe.com and check his shit out (or wait until May 25 11.45pm and check his shit on adult swim, seriously rep this shit, the guy is the man). Basically, I think the motherfucker is hilarious and if I could suck his brain of humor, and then use that for my own diabolical purposes, I most likely would.

So anyway, I'm researching this documentary and I see that it's going to screen in Boston. Nice. Cept for the fact that it happened in April... and Brad Neely was there... talking to people and shit...

This caused me to hit my head really hard in rage, on accident. Seriously, top ten people that I would like to meet/pick brain and I missed it...

They Won't Stay Dead!

Friday morning procrastination is in full swing.

I was reading this morning in bed, with the windows and blinds open. Violin music, just loud enough to hear without staining begins leaking into my ears. Damian is definitely having a sweet sesh right now. So tight.

A new challenger is approaching! It's called the MBTA and it can lick my balls. I waited the other night for 45 fucking minutes for a god damn lechmere train. Seriously, 6 north station trains in a row? Fuck? I booed the T openly, strange looks from other waiters. Everyone was heated.

Such nice weather right now, seems to be the topic on every bloggers brain. I walked around town the other day. Hit up the BPL, snagged some tight screenplays. Will definitely make a return trip (kind of have to, it is the library).

Not much humor this time around. Can't be funny all the time. Enjoy this fine week end. Also, Iron Man next week, as well as FCBD. Nerds rejoice!

Horror-scope

My horoscope for today, and I assure you that this is real, straight off of Yahoo where I get my daily horoscope:

"You'll wake up with a lot of high energy today, which will keep you smiling all day"

Oh Yahoo, you're so clever. High energy? Smiling all day? Must have the wrong day.

On another note, some old bitch turned 115 today. Became the oldest bitch in the world. Pretty fucked up to be 115. She must have no idea what the fuck is going on in the world. Not necessarily because she is old, but because she's seen some fucking crazy shit. 1893 to today? Fucking A man, that's a lot of shit.

Also, Hyde(s) get off my case, I'll blog when I'm good and ready. I don't want to spoil my five readers.

The Blogosphere Hate Me

At least according to Jeff 'Periwinkle' Hyde it does. I would assume it is because I haven't blogged out in a while. I wish I had a reason other then I was lazy (I think I was anti-blog for a bit too).

Anyway, I was thinking about shit recently and I've determined that we are in fact living in the future. We can fix our eyes with lasers (as mentioned in an earlier blog), the presidential canidates are a woman, an African American, and a zombie, I ride an electric powered train everyday, I have thouasands of songs in my pocket, porn is literally everywhere and crazier then ever, Charlton Heston is dead (but has yet to come back), etc. etc.

Jack Black, let's hang out sometime.

No pictures for this round, Emerson library laziness////

I guess that means I'm officially back in the blog. So here I am blogoshpere, have at me!

Alex Trebeck

Just a quick note.

I'm sitting here and catch a whiff of ganj. I think to myself "Suppose I'll join them" obviously referring to someone presumably smoking in the basement. Then I realized I was at home. Phantom smells abound!

Printed Indexes

On location blogging, live from the Emergunz library. After developing photos this morning, I took a nap in the library, and now I'm here with time to kill. Overall the library is pretty tight. Nice chairs, the interweb, and a bathroom that no one ever uses and is perfect for on campus grumping.

Weekend Update:
Friday - Snow. Cancelled my trip back to the mother land. Dave "Skull Crusher" Roy is back stateside. I crush Pat "The Beard" Howley in an exhibition chess match at the laundrymat. I'll give it to the kid, he put up a good fight, but after I got my queen behind his lines, it was all over. Probably the first game I've played when both queens made it to the end.

Saturday - Roy clan comprised of Melissa "Bezerk" Roy, Alison "Pangea" Roy, and the aforementioned Skull Crusher visit Crimebridge. Dave was jetlagged and appeared confused. Considering he had just traveled from the opposite side of the world and to him it was 4am, I forgive him. Tight lunch at Atwoods per usual even though I tried to lobby for an alternate dining situation. I led an expedition to Harvard Square, and despite my lack of knowledge on that area I got us within a block of our destination. Victory.

Sunday - Put up some record numbers in CoD4. Mercenary Death Match was my game of choice. My top game yielded the following numbers: 31 Kills, 5 Assists, and 11 deaths. Considering the game is to 75 kills, I was involved in nearly half of them. Just shows how 1337 I am. Dave needs to fix his guy so we can tear newbs together. Took some photos. Oscars the Grouch was on the tube later. No Country puts up a good showing. Norbit got shafted yet again, this time by some French movie... lame

Anyone know of any good Boston improv places or comedy clubs? I'm looking to take in a few shows. Maybe finally slap my stand-up routine together for some open mic stuff. Bust some guts. That would be a tight summer job, stand-up comic. Is that even possible? Can I be a part time funny man? Don't ask me for my jokes. I think only two or three people have heard them.

Quick convo with Joe "Club Soda" Harris. Required reading, Catch-22. Kart/Smash battle plans are mentioned, date remains a phantom.

No pic today because I hate the library computers. Also, two posts ago, it would appear as though my picture has disappeared (I would like to thanks reader Matt "USB 2.0" Murray for pointing this out). The pic was a delightful photoshop that involved Castro and baseball. Hugo Chavez was thrown in there somewhere as well. Hilarious!

Surround Sound

Basement blogging. Seeking new music, looking to patch the holes in my lyrical offensive line. Recent music find: M.I.A.. Pretty tight beats.

Elephants. Imagine being a Roman legionnaire and seeing an elephant in battle? Would have made you rethink the world. Seriously, when would a soldier have seen an elephant before that? Then one day they battle the huns, and the the mother fuckers are riding elephants. Bonkers.

The modern day has crushed the adventurer. How many uncharted islands are there in the world these days? I would say 7-14, tops. Imagine sailing the world, hoping to Hell that you were right in the flat v round argument. Then there was the fact that you were sailing around the world... baller, original gangster.

Butt Kicking

Blogging from the living room. Shit is real word, so much less cold then my room. If our apartment was the galaxy, my room would be Hoth. Moving on...

I wore shorts on Sunday. It was great, I could almost taste the BBQ. The weather was really dank, unexplainable. Also Pat and I discovered and thoroughly crushed a baller Indian restaurant. There is already a post-blog leftover party planned, and I'm the only person on the guest list.

Milan v Arsenal on projector

I'm through with winter. Its gotten rather old by now. If it isn't going to snow then, I mean, let's just warm things up here. Get people into shorts more often. Make people believe in global warming.

Matt Murray crushed his first brew yesterday. This ensued:

Lack of solid postings lately has been brought on by mondo work in the Emersonz department. Had a lot of thing on my mind recently. Jesus, rapist, etc. Such is the life of a writer. Speaking of which, writers can work again! Huzzah!

Recently Dave Hyde has been coming at me with threats. I've shaved my beard, save my mustache and the status of whether or not my hair will share the same fate is DtD.

Goddesses. Hyde the younger once said that all Emerson girls are goddesses. At first I scoffed at his rookie remarks. But now, since I only appear at school four times a week, and I'm not bombarded with crappy Emerson folk all day, I think I can see where he was coming from. Plain and simple some Emerson girls are goddesses. But I guess that's true with the world these days.

I need to do laundry. Wheather is killing me. Spring deliver us from this winter soon...

Take Out

I was riding the T this morning, reading Bill Simmons, and Bosstones came up over my earpiece. Boston.

Crazy weather this past weekend. Cold today, snow in the future.

hAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO BLOG ABOUT. fORGOT IT. iNVERTED CASES!

Photography is really about making art out of things we can see with our own eyes. Almost like pointing to things and telling people to look. Open some eyes now and then.

I think my soul has repaired most of the damage following the fallout of XLII. Baseball starts soon. Which means the sun comes soon. Which means the meat and beer times come soon. Winter.

Red Elf Needs Food Badly

I saw an advert on the T the other day for laser eye surgery. It was at this moment when I realised that we live in the future. Glasses? Contact lenses? Fuck that! We fix our eyes with lasers! Fucking lasers! Like the shit that scared the crap out of people only, what, 50 years ago? Now we wield the mighty laser to do our bidding, and correct our stigmas.



Matt and I went to the C's game about a week ago. Lost by two to the Canadian Dinosaurs. Triple digit scores for both sides. Fulkerson curse continues, I'm waiting until we're blacklisted from Celtics games.

Football game this weekend. The superbowl has always been a bittersweet event for me. Its great because its the super bowl and the two best teams are playing (sometimes...), but its sucks because it means no pigskin for another year. If the Pats win, I get a free haircut thanks to the legendary Damian Vasquez! Granted its going to be his call when we get to the barber, but whatev. Haircuts are the most retarded thing to pay for. It would be like paying someone to brush your teeth. Hair is hair.

Sea Monster

Lack of blogs = lack of things happening in my life these days. No school, no work, minimal other things, maximum Call of Duty 4. I have literally wasted the last weeks or so of my life. Vacation? Maybe. I just feel like a turd. I now understand how people can become reclusive and antisocial these days. Time the only true constant, fucking always keeping us going. School starts in few days, a welcome return to normalcy. Doing work will make me feel worthy again.

Poop. It is literally up in you all the time. Now. Later. Tomorrow. Literally any time there is poop in you. Just thought of that while I was dropping some grumpage. Tight visual for ya there. Spellcheck disagrees with grumpage.... and spellcheck.

Need something new to enter the scene. Something fresh, maybe someone fresh? Everyday holds infinite possibilities. Risk

Patri-truths on Sunday. Chargers are lame. Still can't believe the Giants have made it this far. Check Eli boozing:

Stadium Seating

Thoughts from yesterday. Chess. trees. snow. lights. pizza. markers. The future will have good things. Great things. But it will also have horrible things. Cicadas only live about a day and a half, yet they change the world. Really crazy things.

Pasta Sauce

Back in 9 fulkerson. Carnage from news yearz still isn't fully repaired. Probably never will be. We seem to be holding out on our rent until Alpha comes to clean the floors. Standoff of the year! Zing! 2008 joke right off the bat.

New room mate. One Macklin in the unit. Good stuff. Basement is now in full functioning mode. Something Hyde never accomplished.

I voted yesturday, last day in NH. Primaries. Today I found out my guy was done with trying to be prez of this nation. Bummer. Have to vote for the other, other guy now. Second choice will most likely bite it as well.

Hyde is a global traveler. I shudder at the thought. Some things shouldn't be released unto the world. Hyde is one of them. Real toxic stuff. Very legit.

Obligatory pic: