Gaijin Smash

Day 1

Today I awakened at about 9am (pm for all ya'll stateside) and was half-ready for a day of Singapore crushing. Tour guides (see parents) took me to Little India which is basically China Town... but with an India theme... and Indian people. Peeped a temple, had to rock it shoe less Dahlsim style. Yoga flame.

Of note: It is currently The Festival of Hungry Ghosts here. Basically that means people make mad sacrifices by burning things to appease angry and hungry ghosts that have come back from Hell asking for shit. So around the island there are these random burning stations where people are burning everything from incense to money to bananas.

Moving on. On top of the ghost sacrifices, there are about a million smells in this country. Incense, perfume (the ladies around here slap that shit on like British Air Stewardesses)More specifically, Little India has about a million more smells on top of that. There is the typical incense in the temples, the jasmine flowers that the women wear in their weaves, the B.O. of the gents. A bouquet of smells.

So after the temple we went to this massive mall called Mustafa's that's open for 24 hours (malls are like air, they are literally everywhere and shopping is like the national pastime or some shit. They literally love to buy things)... thing. Four floors of nonsense. I found a Labron and a Nash jersey in the chaos. So at least the rep the king and three time MVPs here. Also of note, an infinite amount of bollywood DVDs.

Peace out little India. After this we checked out this Toy museum. Incredibly word. Mad toys ranging from the most rasist (I set of toys from the 30's called 5 nigger boys) to the first issue of the Avengers (I juiced a little over that, then motioned like I was going to break the glass and steal it, the janitor wasn't amused...) to old school robots. Tons of awesome toys here, if you're ever in Singapore (bloody unlikely), and you like old, phat toys check this place, The Mint Toy museum.

We hit up a chicken and rice place after this for lunch. Chicken and rice is seemingly the most popular dish around here. Tight shit too. Pretty tasty shit.

After that we dipped back to the pad and hit up the roof pool (ballin). Jet lag was trying to claim me after the swim so I took a shower to get amped. Went out for dinner at this place called
the Pump Room. It was in this area called Clarke Quay which is basically a collection of bars and restaurants along the Singapore river. While we were sitting there crushing, four copters flew overhead. Three of them were these nasty looking fighter style copters and the fourth was a dual bladed transport vehicle of some sort toting this massive Singaporean flag, literally like a fucking huge flag. Afterwards a squad of fighter jets flew overhead. This was all in preparation for Singapore national day on the 9th. Basically it's their fourth of July, and it gives me a second chance to tell England to fuck off twice in a year!

After the Pump Room we rolled over to Beerwerks for another pint or two, a Singapore version of CBC (Cambridge Brewing Company for those not familiar, although I don't think anyone who reads this blog is). I went for the X Golden, quite the tasty brew. During said brew sesh, four pretty fine looking (if I had to guess Australian) slags saddled up next to us. The parental units and I finished our brews over some light convo and bounced. As we were walking away my mom said, "Oh man were those chicks checking you out" or some shit. I knew it. While crushing, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I could see the aforementioned slags looking towards us, but I thought there was something behind me... mom informed me there was nothing behind me but a baby or some shit. So this moment is either (A) Mom trying to build my self confidence or (B) operation football (aka soccer) hair is succeeding. Too bad the ultimate cockblock (parents) was present. Whatevvvvvvvvssssssssssssssss.

Did I mention there is a shitload of Asians here?