Friday, August 8, 2008

Hula Hula

Day 7?

Alright, yesterday (8/8/08) was one of the most ridiculous days I have had in a long time. Super Asian Day. It started off with me going on a solo mission to The World Cyber Gaming Asian Championship 2008. It took me some effort to find the place it was at, not because it was difficult to locate, but because to get to the convention center where it was at, I had to traverse through a labyrinth of (believe it or not) malls.

Upon entering exhibit hall 402/403 I realized I had come to the right place. Booth girls, low lighting, gaming rigs set up everywhere, and the smell of hundreds of Asian gamers (a fine mix of Red Bull and body odor). There were massive rows of computers that I referred to as 'The Pit'. Here there were some intense battles of Counter Strike and Warcraft III (although not the actual game, but the custom game called Defense of the Ancients. If you've heard of DotA then welcome fellow nerd). I took a seat at the main stage just in time for a FIFA quarter final match. The kid who won seemed pretty nasty, however I later found out that he dropped out of tech school to pursue gaming full time. His parents must be proud.

This was followed by the Singapore finals for virtua fighter 5. Good battle between some nasty players. Never played the game myself, but these nerds looked particularly good. Winner pocketed 600 beans, a TV, and a trip to the nationals in Germany.

I grabbed some food and returned in time to catch the finals for Age of Empires III. Hard as fuck to watch, but one guy got owned in what looked like a pretty lopsided match. All through these matches there were these douchbag announcers calling the games. They sucked. I rocked iPod instead.

By this time I had had enough of watching other people play video games so I bounced. Checked out the fountain of wealth. Put my hand in its cool, mystical waters, and headed back to the pad to crush a quick nap before THE party.

Of course the party I'm referring to is the Hula Hula party (Their words, not mine) that my Dad's apartment complex put on. The setting was the rooftop pool, where the 'big surprise' (a hot tub) was revealed. Open bar, mad good free food. This of course led to everyone getting crushed... everyone. Me, rents, housekeepers, everyone who stays at the apartment, and even the building owner Jerry. (of note, a gay dude who we were talking to told my parents to let me go out Saturday night and get someone pregnant... thanks guy. Other stuff happened that I'm too lazy to write about. I'll share tales upon my return) Long story short, I stumbled back to the room just in time to catch the US stumbling into the olympic stadium. This of course was live seeing as China is pretty close by and what not.

This morning was pretty hilarious. Entire Roy squad was experiencing some class 2s maybe class 3s. Great Success!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Pioneer

Day 2: Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.

Today I journied to China Town. Yep, it looks like there is one of these in every major city, even when you're pretty fucking close to China. That being said, this China Town (or CT if you're into that whole brevity thing) is quite a bit more impressive then the one found at the corner of Boylston and Tremont.

I explored the open markets of CT where wares for sale range from Chinese antiques to ancient Chinese remedies. Since my pops had some sort of rash, we ducked into a Chinese Pharmacist. As pops got hooked up with a magical lotion, I viewed the variety of dried goods (mushrooms, roots, eyeballs, etc.). Sadly I was unable to find any Gremlins for sale... lame.

From here we moved on to a Buddhist temple. I wasn't able to get in due to my basketball jersey (obviously they were Lakers fans), so we just peeped it from the atrium. I'll probably return on a solo mission in the coming days.

Lunch at a food court (basically the standard in Singapore) in CT. We feasted on Fried Carrot Cake (this was neither fried, nor carrot cake, go figure. Delicious though), fruit drinks (I went with sugar cane and dragon fruit), and some interesting roll type things. The food here is pretty unreal, and is definitely something not to be missed.

Bounced back to home base for a quick recharge and pool session. Following this quick interlude, we moved out towards the esplanade. Basically it is this massive theater hall on the waterfront that is known for its architecture (i.e. it looks like a giant durian). However, the Singapore T (aka the MRT) exits at the esplanade into a mall. This isn't uncommon practice as many MRT stations within the heart of the city dump you into the first or second basement of malls (which can generally run to 7-10 floors with multiple basements). Basically it took us 15 minutes to exit this underground ode to consumerism. Not bad considering being inside means air conditioning and not the Singapore heat and humidity.

Exited the esplanade, peeped the merlion statue, and headed off towards this place to get satay. Satay is this form of grilling, Macklin take note, that involves using charcoals and a fan to increase the flames. Small pieces of meat (lamb, cow, chicken) or prawns are cooked on wooden skewers over said flame after marinating for the day. Delicious stuff. However, what makes the satay experience unique is the way it's sold, again Macklin take note. Each stand basically has a guy that tries to tell you their satay. The second someone gets into their view, they immediately try to sit them down and sell them their satay. Of course they are not alone. A nearby food court also disperses their minions who are looking to sell you side dishes (rice, beans, roasted stingray, etc.), and there are a fleet of Tiger Beer girls hawking pitchers left and right. Once you sit down and have your meal, the hawkers vanish, respecting that they have either (A) won your service or (B) their opposition has got you and there is nothing they can do. It's pretty sweet and entertaining experience to watch as you munch on your satay.

Day 3

Mom and I went to the zoo, Dad went to work. I saw a lot of animal dicks today. I wasn't trying to, it just kind of happened. Most of the time they were just kind of swingin' around out there (except for that one baboon who seemed to be... interested...). Moving on from animal anatomy... This was perhaps the most amazing and beautiful zoo in the world. It was like Jurassic Park, but with monkeys and lizards instead of Dinosaurs. This place was wild (pun intended... regretfully). Truly a masterpiece of not only zookeeping but grounds keeping as well. Simply an amazing experience.

Peep the "book" for pics.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Gaijin Smash

Day 1

Today I awakened at about 9am (pm for all ya'll stateside) and was half-ready for a day of Singapore crushing. Tour guides (see parents) took me to Little India which is basically China Town... but with an India theme... and Indian people. Peeped a temple, had to rock it shoe less Dahlsim style. Yoga flame.

Of note: It is currently The Festival of Hungry Ghosts here. Basically that means people make mad sacrifices by burning things to appease angry and hungry ghosts that have come back from Hell asking for shit. So around the island there are these random burning stations where people are burning everything from incense to money to bananas.

Moving on. On top of the ghost sacrifices, there are about a million smells in this country. Incense, perfume (the ladies around here slap that shit on like British Air Stewardesses)More specifically, Little India has about a million more smells on top of that. There is the typical incense in the temples, the jasmine flowers that the women wear in their weaves, the B.O. of the gents. A bouquet of smells.

So after the temple we went to this massive mall called Mustafa's that's open for 24 hours (malls are like air, they are literally everywhere and shopping is like the national pastime or some shit. They literally love to buy things)... thing. Four floors of nonsense. I found a Labron and a Nash jersey in the chaos. So at least the rep the king and three time MVPs here. Also of note, an infinite amount of bollywood DVDs.

Peace out little India. After this we checked out this Toy museum. Incredibly word. Mad toys ranging from the most rasist (I set of toys from the 30's called 5 nigger boys) to the first issue of the Avengers (I juiced a little over that, then motioned like I was going to break the glass and steal it, the janitor wasn't amused...) to old school robots. Tons of awesome toys here, if you're ever in Singapore (bloody unlikely), and you like old, phat toys check this place, The Mint Toy museum.

We hit up a chicken and rice place after this for lunch. Chicken and rice is seemingly the most popular dish around here. Tight shit too. Pretty tasty shit.

After that we dipped back to the pad and hit up the roof pool (ballin). Jet lag was trying to claim me after the swim so I took a shower to get amped. Went out for dinner at this place called
the Pump Room. It was in this area called Clarke Quay which is basically a collection of bars and restaurants along the Singapore river. While we were sitting there crushing, four copters flew overhead. Three of them were these nasty looking fighter style copters and the fourth was a dual bladed transport vehicle of some sort toting this massive Singaporean flag, literally like a fucking huge flag. Afterwards a squad of fighter jets flew overhead. This was all in preparation for Singapore national day on the 9th. Basically it's their fourth of July, and it gives me a second chance to tell England to fuck off twice in a year!

After the Pump Room we rolled over to Beerwerks for another pint or two, a Singapore version of CBC (Cambridge Brewing Company for those not familiar, although I don't think anyone who reads this blog is). I went for the X Golden, quite the tasty brew. During said brew sesh, four pretty fine looking (if I had to guess Australian) slags saddled up next to us. The parental units and I finished our brews over some light convo and bounced. As we were walking away my mom said, "Oh man were those chicks checking you out" or some shit. I knew it. While crushing, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I could see the aforementioned slags looking towards us, but I thought there was something behind me... mom informed me there was nothing behind me but a baby or some shit. So this moment is either (A) Mom trying to build my self confidence or (B) operation football (aka soccer) hair is succeeding. Too bad the ultimate cockblock (parents) was present. Whatevvvvvvvvssssssssssssssss.

Did I mention there is a shitload of Asians here?

Friday, August 1, 2008

TETSUOOOOOO!!!!!111111

Arrived in Singapore at around 5pm Friday... here are a few notes before I passssss out:

-Plane ride from London to Singapore was pretty brutal. couldn't sleep. Got drunk, watched Semi-Pro and spilled wine on myself. There was about 13 other hours where I did nothing as well.

-Singapore is hot and humid. Perhaps because its a jungle located on the equator?

-Infinite shopping malls and food courts. Seriously, the shit is everywhere.

-If Asia adopted an American baby, it would be named Singapore.

-Battle Royale is a bad book to read on a plane if your destination is packed with Asian teenagers. Shit gives me bad vibes.

-So many people here. Most of them Asian. It's like bizarro world. In Boston I would see a few Asian people here and there, here you see one or two non-asians every once and a while.


More to come...