ABC Must See Movies: Episode 1

Alright, so a little change of pace in terms of this blog. Since I don't really have a job yet (internship two days a week) I've been watching a buttload of movies. I like to call it research, ya'know, gotta see what gets made versus what doesn't... or some shit. Anyway, since I have seen so many movies, I decided to help you brainless bloggers out by telling you what you should watch. Now before I get to the list, there are some FAQa I must address.

1) Are these your favorite movies?

Hell naw. Some of 'em might be, but I was hoping to go for movies people might not have seen, or have never heard of. Sure I could Back to the Future, but everyone knows that movie is the tits anyway so that would be useless.

2) Will you be doing another list?

Mayhaps

3) Doth there be spoilers in thine blog?

I'll try not to ruin anything. Because that would just ruin things

3) Who is asking these questions?

STFU

Alright, let's begin:

A is for American Movie.

Genre: Documentary

Running Time: 107 min

(Writer, Director, Actor, American)

This flick follows the exploits of a film maker with no experience, no mon

ey, and no clue. What he does have, and what this film oozes is passion. It brought me back to when I first picked up a camera and shot my first 'films' with my friends (Saturday the 8th and Big Time Cops for those keeping score). You'll laugh, you'll look away with shame, and you might even cry. If you have any connection to making films, whether on an amateur or professional level, you'll be able to take something away from this doc. A perfect place to start this list... so like totally watch this one first.

B is for Being There

Genre: Dark Comedy

Running Time: 130 min (according to IMDB... I don't remember it being that long)

(The Swedish movie poster, totally legit)

Peter Sellers stars in this gem about our media saturated world in the role of Chance the gardener. As funny as it is emotional... fuck I really wish I could remember this movie, but it's really dope. It was one of the movies my Dad told me to watch, I'm sure this won't be the only one of those on this list (other Dave Roy recommendations have included Taxi Driver, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Falling Down). You'll "like to watch" this one.

C is for Cobra Verde

Genre: Badass

Running Time: Just fucking watch the movie, who cares how long it is

(Cobra Verde fucks shit up, and literally just fucks)

Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski manage to yet again not kill each other and collaborate for this masterpiece of badassness. A guy gets his hand caught in a suger sheather or some shit in tis movie, and Klaus Kinski is in it, so I really don't know what else to say. Plus, did you see that fucking pic?

Alright, I planned on doing more in this installment but I got burntout on the idea. I don't see you doing any blogging so don't complain. I assure you that at some point the other 23 entries will find their way here.

Texas

The real world. Not like the MTV program, like the actual real shit. Me, you, like other people, we now all have to live in the real world, and do real shit. Unless, like... you're not doing anything or like are still getting that degree. But in a way, as we move on in life things start to get real... like the Real World... that time I meant the MTV program.

Moving on. So now I live in Glendale, CA. Its pretty tight, really tight actually. Cool house, with some very legit people. It's a house too, with a backyard and a hammock. Totally the

bee knees. More explanation will come with these PICS:

Here's the living room, and the entrance. Pretty standard, although notice the windows because this house has about infinity.

TV. Notice the X-Box already rocking its way in there. No cable, maximum netflix crushage.

This is Sid. He's one of the tightest cats I've ever come across. He's a bit crazy, gets his creep on a lot. He's like a familiar, you know, those things that like wizards and anime characters have? He'll follow you around, but not be annoying like some cats. He senses when there is someone coming to the door, typical familiar type shit. Moving on:

Kitchen table, also evidence that a female lives here.

Food room.

Roycave. Infinite windows. Ikea bed. Map of Yellowstone.

Door on the right is the closet. Door on the right goes into the backyard. Totally legitimate escape route.

The back yard. Notice the hammock in the back. We also carpet our outside because we are baller status. Also, it doesn't rain here.