Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I'll Turn this God Damn Bus AROUND!

There and Back Again II: A tale of unemployment

I awoke this morning and there was a stirring within. My inner hobbit was lusting for an adventure. Motivation was quite low. No real errands to run, nothing really to do, I decided to just go to Sweet Touch.
(Figure 1.1 - The Inner Hobbit stirs.)

The usual. Rita is the truth. Big ups to the staff at Sweet Touch in East Cambridge. From there, equipped with a large iced coffee as a source of fuel, I boarded th
e twisted hydra known as the Green Line. I didn't even know where I was going, I had a brief notion of book but that was it. Where would this mechanical Charon bring me? Surely the fates had an interesting tale in store for this young adventurer?

(Figure 1.2 The demons of the T [disguised here as pleasant beings] torture unlucky patrons with their hellish cacophony of string bass and xylophone.)

The green line is always packed with humanity. So many people riding
in a metal tube on a hot summer day: not really worth the 1.50 or whatever
it is their charging for that sideshow these days. Out of need for escape from this dank aluminum tomb I leapt from the train at Copley.

Rising to the street I became confused as to where I was. Always so much construction going on with this T stop it seems. Library became point of orientation. More
on the library later. My first stop was going to be Newbury Comics. Several reasons, 1) I could strut down Newbury street and pretend I had more then a Lincoln in my pocket (penny or five its your call reader!) and 2) because they have mad cool things there that only I would buy.

Few thoughts whilst walking down Newbury:
- Chill bitches your don't live in NYC or LA. So just slow your roll.
- On that same note, you may look like bitches but you still beautiful (oh snap!)
- Opening my backpack would be like opening a sharks stomach. You could tell where I have been and all that science junk. ''Let's see... his macbook, a half eaten
powerbar, looks like a receipt for an iced coffee.... hmmmm".
(Figure 1.3 - Obligatory pic of cat w/ text)

They didn't have the droids I was looking for at Newbury Comics. Fought off an impulse buy: Season Two of the Batman Animated Series for $9.99! Realized I could never possibly stay focused to watch all those episodes, plus the nerd is already strong with me, so I backed off.

A twist in the story. Where to go now? I roamed the streets in a humid haze. The beacon that had guided me out of the darkness os the T was shining again. The Boston Public Library, you'll never find a more retched hive of knowledge and literature. So many characters within this palace of pulp. All races/classes seek the public knowledge of the library: old people, olde people, muppets, children, wizards, wizard children, goblins, and Asian
s. I wandered aimlessly before getting a map. So the library map blows. Obv
iously librarians doth not make sturdy cartographers. Oh shit, why didn't anyone tell me they had comics here! Take that real books... although there is something weird about getting comics/graphic novels in a library. It's like the porn of literature...

So anyway as I'm waiting in line to check out some... literature... (yeah, a line at the library, take that capitalism!) and while I'm waiting I see security and this crazy guy having a verbal scuffle. Apparently the man claimed the guard was making up rules, and that the rules themselves were the unfair. Perhaps he had a good argument. Who knows, although security did not look amused. I think authorities were called.

In front of me in line was a little Asian girl... maybe 6 tops. She was checking out, and I fucking shit you not, two SAT prep books. Sweet zombie jesus, I almost had to pull a Will Smith in Men in Black and check this little bitch. Who's she kidding with that garbage? Good luck kid, you'll probably save us all from Galactus one day.
(Figure 1.4 - Bow before the mighty Galactus. Wait, is this guy in a bathrobe?)

Moving on. I decided to continue onward towards the Garden. Not the stadium, but the nature one. Duck boats, tourist... *shudder*... people just enjoying the hazy day. Why must people patronize the tree rats? Gross... do you people realize not only are these creatures stupid and annoying, they're also taking valuable food sources away from the crackheads who more than share the Common with them. Please, don't feed/take pictures of/lick/love/or solicit for sex the god damn squirrels, anywhere, but especially within the parks of Boston.
(Figure 1.5 - A local Squirrel gang displays their 'gats'. Squirrel on squirrel crime has been on the rise since the 1990's)

Making my way into the common I found a tree and meditated under it. Whilst trying to decide my route home, I spotted a lemonade vendor. Most excellent. I was sceptic at the hefty price of 3$... and my predetermined good more 1$ tip. Like they said on the X-Files, the truth is out there. In this case the truth was in this lemonade. My god it was quite top notch.

My wanderlust lead me through Beacon Hill... perhaps my adventures are determined via property value? I noticed a rather expensive looking car (make and model data has been lost) with a driver standing, arms crossed by back against the hood. Sure signs of someone famous. A quick glance in some high end deli (?) yielded no paparazzi oppoutunes. I would have investigated further had the rather surly looking driver not been an orge stuffed into a three piece Armani. Carry on, carry on.

Back to the T. However, the Red Line is a far fairer beast than its green brethren. Denied by the human slicers; insufficient funds... grumble.... With funds restored, I zipped across the river. With the sun waning, and a low cloud cover I had a sense there was a storm a brewin'. I hustled home, where I then recounted the events to you. I then reread about one third of this post before getting bored and starting searching for appropriate, maybe, pictures. Upon finding said pics, I posted them to this blog.
(Figure 1.7 - A being of unspeakable power known to many as God. Oh wait, wrong picture. LOL!LOL!OMGLOLOLOL!)

Once the blog was posted, I sat briefly, contemplating the importance of said blog. After a solid moment of hesitation, all parties determined (you, the reader included) t
hat the importance of tis aforementioned blog accounting a tale of a rather uninteresting and uneventful day to be_

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Captain of Industry

That's my new super hero moniker. Captain of Industry. Seriously I've been selling shit I don't use anymore via the internet, and people give me money. It's crazy, like I have a job or some shit. All I have to do is put the shit in boxes and bring them to the post office. By the way does anyone know of a cheap/free place to get small boxes? I'm talking like, only about a couple inches by a couple inches. I've heard rumblings of free boxes from the post office, I'll have to ask next time.

"Suns out, girls are out, Malator is around somewhere. Maybe he and I will grab a beer later"

Be on the lookout for Local Wizard updates as we near the launch date. It's going to be a pretty monumental piece of cinema. It'll make you laugh, cry, scream with ecstasy and it's all in HD. Seriously, when is that last time you've seen me in HD? Fuck real life, this is HD. HIGH def. Shit, you'd think 3D President went to school for this shit or something...

This pic was taken in Paul Pierce's personal suite at TD Garden. Me and The Truth are twitter friends :)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

I'm back on the blog steeze. Blame twitter. No need to tell you what happened in the void of non-bloggage. It isn't important, obviously considering nothing that happened recently has warranted a blogging. I figured I should start this thing up again, maybe someone will see how HIGH-LARIOUS I am and give me one of things I've heard so much about.... I think they're called jobs, or hobs... yobs?

Went to a wedding recently. Pretty tight. Hard to score with the single ladies when all of the groomsman are army dudes wearing uniforms w/medals. Makes it impossible for an unemployed writer to compete against someone who's probably killed a couple dozen people for America. Still good times.

I've gotta focus the ol brain grapes, get things back on track writing wise. I have about six different first drafts of first acts for three different projects. Gross. I'm going to start setting an alarm in the morning, rejuvenate the circadian rhythm. Three tough words to spell.