So I was eating break-fast this morning flipping through the tube (PiR had just wrapped up), and I stumbled across VH1. Perhaps you have heard of this channel. If you haven't, it is a television station that was once a music channel. I like to think VH1 started as a Mom version of MTV, you know, what a mom would think music television was.
Well, now, like it's sperm donor MTV, VH1 has ceased its musical programming. Big deal right? I can catch music videos on the youtube(s) these days. Get myself some mp3s and mpegs, don't need no stinking music on my TV. So what fills the void? Assholes, telling me things.
Now this started out as a grand idea, I love the 80s. If there was any generation that is super easy to make fun of (besides maybe the 1900-1910 with all their fancy pants and big wheel bicycles) its the 1980's. Reagen? He-Man? Jaws 3D? Hilarious! Throw in some F-List celebrities and comedians to talk about this shit and you've got programming gold.
So, I'll admit, I'm a fan of I love the 80's. Great concept. I could even buy the spinoffs of 70's, and Best Week Ever (all the other 'I Loves' can eat a shoe). However, VH1 has officially jumped the shark with a god damn rocket bike. Today, I kid you not, I watched I love the new millennium.... the year 2007....
What the Fuck? Seriously? I need a show to tell me what happened literally not even a half a year ago? "That's it, I'm done with this shit" was a direct quote after I saw Jared (fat subway asshole who looks like he's had too many five dollar foot shlongs) talking about the Geico Cavemen. I nearly barfed up my Go Lean Crunch. Honestly, if I wanted to hear about shit that is currently happening I would TALK TO ANOTHER HUMAN. I don't need Cat Von DEEEEE telling me how much she liked 300, or some asshole from Survivor telling me who the 'Liars' from 2005 were. I can tell you who lied in 2005, ME! Because I can remember that far back unlike half of America.
Seriously people, let's take a step back from the glowing box for a moment. We can all talk about current events AND make them funny, without Ant (Z-List "comedian" from NH who seems to get gayer and gayer all the time so he can use his sexuality as a humor crutch) telling us so. VH1, consider yourself(selves?) ranted!
